i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Randomize
