Nicole vs. Life
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Randomize
