mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
