Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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