you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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