Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
