Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
