So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize