If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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