I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
