I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
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