Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Randomize