i don't plan on having that self control this summer
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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