just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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