her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
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