why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
I lost the right to judge tonight
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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