Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
