I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
