How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Randomize
