Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
