I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
Randomize
