How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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