yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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