That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
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