Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
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