Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
