I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Randomize
