:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
