I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
