i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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