I only kidnapped one of them. chill
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Randomize
