got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
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