Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
