Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
Randomize
