i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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