we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
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