I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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