Will you blow on my dice?
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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