I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
I have all the porn. Be there soon
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