He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Randomize
