you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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