Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
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