Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
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