I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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