i just identified you from a description of your pipe
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Randomize
