Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize