the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Randomize
