Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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