your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
