I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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