how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
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