it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
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