Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
