whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Randomize