dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Randomize
