It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
