That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
