My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
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