Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize