ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Randomize