i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
I have aggressive nipples.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Randomize
