It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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