and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Watching her eat just hurts me
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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