As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
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