$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
Randomize
